NOVEMBER 14, 2021 SUNDAY MESSAGE
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November 14, 2021: Bible & Sex 4
Transcription
HELLO EVERYONE! It’s good to see you all and welcome to those who are joining us online right now (SNOW??)!
If you have been tracking with us during this series: The Bible and Sex, it has already been incredibly full. We have covered a lot of ground and the next two weeks, while there won’t be as much to say (because we have been laying foundations during the last 3 sermons), they are important and carry a lot of weight to them.
I DO want to reiterate that:
If you are in the room or watching, you are an adult or an adult has approved of you being here…
and you are in a place emotionally to have this conversation right now.
Second I want our congregation to continue to keep a tone of safety:
The things I say may challenge you but it is not my hope to alienate anyone but to be as gracious and truthful as the Bible tells us to be
But the scriptures will often confront our ideologies and beliefs as a means to guide us into wholeness.
I want everyone here to know you are welcome as you are in our church, you are welcome in this conversation, we love you even when we may disagree.
If you have been around me a while - and this may be the most controversial thing I say from the pulpit - but I am not what you would call a “sports person”
I love the saints and watch football casually and I hate Tom Brady like most sane people in the world
I played in high school - it was fun!
This may come as a shocker but we have NFL Red Zone because my wife likes football!!
Again, it’s fun but, if I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t watch football at all if it was just me...
Now, based on the traditional American male/female stereotypes of masculinity and femininity, we are flip-flopped -
“DUDES like sports and women like romantic comedies!”
Men are supposed to be aggressive, even violent, but at least assertive.
Hunters, pursuers,
Not allowed to show emotion
Women are supposed to be dainty, passive, and nurturers only
Emotional creatures who are
Being pursued or even rescued,
In an attempt to re-masculinize the Church, one church I led worship for handed me THIS book. Though I think the heart of the book was to re-engage a staggering loss of men in the church, it did so by teaching them how to create a culture that indulges male stereotypes.
“Why Men Hate Going to Church” teaches that we need to de-feminize the church so that men want to come again:
Get more “manly men” in the pulpit
Who use more sports analogies
Talk about hunting and
Highlight competition/action in the bible
Don’t use feminine words like “beautiful” in your worship!
EVERYTHING, down to the colors of the walls and website (gray, blue, and maroon) were geared to appeal to their
And ALL OF IT is done under the practical idea that, if you get the Dad -> Get the whole family!
Maybe, enticing men to come to church by creating a culture of male indulgence instead of the sacrificial love of Jesus isn’t the best way to make disciples...maybe it’s dangerous.
It’s not just the church...
Our culture has established so many definitions -even built social systems- that assign traditional NORMS to gender behavior and performance.
They are often hyperbolic, but one trip to a toy store will clarify:
One aisle is Pink and dresses, and princesses and soft things
One is Blue and guns and action figures, and competition
Interestingly BLUE and PINK had the reverse connotation 100 years ago! Pink was seen as a variation of red which was strong, was seen as the (quote) strong color and blue as the soft one.
SO, have you ever stopped to ask, where do these NORMS come from? What defines gender in the first place and where does it originate?
One pastor I listened to asked about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman “...Is it binary biology? If you have a penis and the primary hormone in your body is testosterone, is that what makes you a man or is there a set of behaviors that makes you a man and is it just a vagina and the primary hormone of estrogen flowing through your body that makes you a woman or is there a set of behaviors that accompanies being a woman.”
Can it just be boiled down to:
Anatomy
Hormones and
X/Y Chromosomes
If that was true, the same stereotypes would be the same across all cultures! BUT I went to southeast asia &:
Men wear THESE! Sorangue
In this area, men often greet each other with a kiss on the cheek,
Men hold hands as they walk down the street together and none of them are considered unmasculine
The same is true manys cultures...
So, there’s more to it than biology alone...we can conclude that definitions of femininity and masculinity are culturally formed to a large extent!
...and this is one of the major debates involving Gender is:
how much of our DEFINITIONS of femininity and masculinity come from cultural construction and
how much of it involves biology?
The emerging generations are asking this and many other questions and challenging definitions surrounding gender that are different than other generations before:
Is there a standard for definitions on Mas/Fem at all?
Is gender a binary or is it fluid?
Men’s retreat in Phoenix:
“If there is anyone struggling with their gender or same-sex attraction, they will definitely not going to talk about it at this retreat now.”
If the church is not a safe place for those who may feel a sense of dysphoria or are simply trying to make sense of their gender and sexuality, the church doesn’t believe it’s own gospel message.
Common Ground is a totally different culture than the one I was in at that point but
behavior like that is unacceptable and will not be tolerated at Common Ground Northeast.
As we approach this topic, remember:
some will engage with this as a PERSONAL reality! They have either experienced gender disagreement with their birth sex and
it cause tension and struggle or
It is embraced
Others simply don’t get it - there is a level of distance from the topical matter and the situations described will feel so foreign, you want to disengage but, if you want to love all people where they are at, you can’t walk away from the conversation.
If it’s not personal, it’s a part of your PUBLIC engagement.
This is your doctors and your servers, your pizza delivery people and your educators, friends, family, neighbors, and people sitting next to you in this room.
If it’s not personal, it’s public and we are called to love people well -even those who are not like us.
Some will say: “the bible says male and female...that’s all there is to it!”
That’s not good enough
It certainly lacks kindness and serves to alienate
So, let’s hold grace and truth well as we ask: “What does the Bible say about it?”
To begin to answer that question, I want us to return briefly back to the CREATION STORY in Genesis 1 which says...
26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.
...Let’s build out what this means for us as humans.
1. Genesis tells us that God created human beings in God’s image
SO, Ontologically, all humans are intended to be image bearers, regardless of our culture, background, and gender. We are ALL created in the image of God.
The Imago Dei is what primarily defines us, gives us value, and dignity.
If you want to say “well obviously!” - Remember that that is not so with other systems (like survival of the fittest)
It informs our value of life
It informs our value of Justice, equity, and reconciliation
Beyond our abilities, contributions to society, and other definitions
The Imago Dei distinguishes us from all other earthly creations. God’s image is not earned or given gradually; it is an inherent part of humanity as image bearers.
Psalm 139 affirms the Imago Dei saying: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.”
In these verses, both genders are called to rule the earth as God’s representatives and
Both were created to be in relationship with God and each other.
“This also means that “our gender and cultural, personal, and experiential variables are secondary and not essential to our humanity.
This is not to say they are not important, they are just NOT a fundamental - or PRIMARY - definition of our existence.”
2. Genesis tells us that God created human beings in God’s image as male and female
SO, each gender is fully human, but both genders are needed to represent the completeness of humanity.
What we see is that the Bible writes from the assumption of a male and female gender binary.
We see this affirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19 as he refers to the way God created us.
And, again, by 1 Cor. 11 as an entire section is based on the assumption of a male and female binary.
Males and females are both the same in essence as fully human beings, but at the same time they are different.
Attempts to define that different have baffled people for generations (mars/venus, spaghetti/waffles).
Even though we get there is a difference, our ways of capturing that difference are inadequate and has created more restrictions than even the bible...
Traditional gender roles
That our “biblical definitions” of gender roles are actually more informed by our American culture
in particular, by a post-agrarian patriarchal industry and family structure that crystalizes in the 1950’s. Illustrated by the Leave It To Beaver stereotype.
Leadership in church: Women can’t preach, etc, (lots of views and we are egalitarian as a church)
Even though it’s baffling, there are distinct capacities and roles in fulfilling the divine mandate to steward and fill the earth. What does that mean??
I, physically, CAN’T give birth!
In general men are built with a larger physique which equips them for something…
that’s a question for gender roles - what that is, I will let YOU decide but it’s worth noting that.
No distinction => Restrictive
My point is, though we don’t know the fullness of the differences, we can’t just ignore the fact that we are different.
Now, Genesis’ use of the male/female paradigm describes the vast majority of humanity but what the rest? What about those who experience a disassociation with our birth sex, with the typical definitons of male and female, or other variations of the cultural norms.
I think our stereotypical definitions of Masculinity and Femininity contribute to this. Examples:
Competitive women are often considered less feminine or “tomboys” or bossy and
Men who are tender or engage in artistic endeavors are seen as less masculine.
There was a worship leader at my small college who was called “choir boy” by the coaches and one professor (he rolled with the punches but I always wondered if it bothered him).
Contrary to the stereotypes, “In the Bible, masculine men behave in ways that would be deemed unmasculine by today’s cultural standard. Men kiss other men, cry, are tender and called to be tenderhearted, are profoundly emotional and relational, are called to turn the other cheek, to love-not kill-their enemies, to weep with those who weep, to raise up and teach children, to be sensitive, and kind, and peacemakers if they want to truly be men.”
The starting point is that our definitions need to be re-evaluated.
Moving past this, there are still some who would say their gender experience is fully incongruent with their birth sex.
Let me frame this by giving you a few definitions (definitions can be difficult to keep up with but I believe it is a worthy pursuit). I can’t give all of them in a sermon but there are a few we need to know):
Sex and Gender prior to the 70’s they were used as synoyms but have been modified to accomodate their usage. SO…
Sex is used to refer to the “physical and biological dimensions of being Male and Female.”
Gender is used to describe the psychological, social, and cultural dimensions of being male or female. It is often applied to:
Gender Identity or your experience in life
Gender expression and how you present yourself (through clothes, hair, mannerisms, interests, etc)
Gender roles or how you relate to cultural expectations of maleness and femaleness.
Transgender has become an umbrella term for the different ways a person might express or experience their gender in a way that is incongruent with their biological sex (which may or may not include gender dysphoria) which can be defined as this…
Gender Dysphoria which is the distress one may feel associated with the incongruence between one’s gender and biological sex (feeling like you’ve been born in the wrong body).
Outside of Genesis, there is another important aspect of theology that I think we need to explore which deals with the anthropological side of this conversation. Dr. Nancy Pearcey who wrote a book called Love Thy Body (I have not read it yet but have been able to take in multiple interviews and articles by her).
Essentially, the idea is that, before conversations on gender as it relates to the body is a moral topic (right/wrong), it is an anthropological topic dealing with our definitions of personhood.
She points out there has been a trend in our culture which mirrors much of the Gnostic Ideology of the First Century Philosophers which elevated the Spirit and Spiritual Realm as good while depicting the physical material world as bad (Spirit Good / Body Bad) and, in doing so, created the depiction that they were two separate things. She says:
“The early Christians faced a culture that placed a low value on the material world, just as modern materialism does — though for different reasons. The church was surrounded by philosophies like Platonism, Manicheism, and Gnosticism that treated the world as a place of evil and corruption. They denounced the body as a “prison” and defined salvation as escape from the physical realm.”
As an alternative, Christianity, from its inception - and even through its jewish roots- has taught that the physical and spiritual cannot and, therefore, should not be thought of as separable. In other words, we are “embodied persons” so we aren’t just spirits with a body, we ARE body/spirit - the two cannot be severed.
Pearcey continues to point out that any ideology that promotes that:
“Your gender identity has nothing to do with your biological sex…
that your identity as male or female is not a part of your authentic self.
That the mind is at war with your body (in that war, it’s the mind that always wins and your body is not an important part of who you are).” is a re-depiction of Gnostic thought with a dangerously low view of the human body.
Why Dangerous? When you separate the human body from their personhood, it opens the door for:
Internal tensions like:
Body dysmorphia
Body dissociation
Hookup culture relies on the idea that you disassociate yourself with your body = it’s physical only and not emotional.
One quote from Pearcy’s book comes from Alicia, who says, “Hookups are very scripted…You learn to turn everything off except your body and make yourself emotionally invulnerable.”
Social dehumanization:
Racism
Genocide depicted as “ethnic cleansing”
Unethical practices in Law and Justice Systems
In order to maintain a correct view of personhood we have to maintain that a person is both body/spirit.
So we were never meant to see ourselves as separate from our bodies which is the underlying premise for Paul’s argument in 1 Cor. 6:13-18. It says “You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both. The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.[c]
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
Paul is speaking from a strong theological orientation that humanity and personhood assume integration of body and spirit.
So, Dr. Pearcey’s call is to reclaim a high view of the body as a part of your humanity: to “love your body, respect your body, and honor your body as the loving handiwork of God.”
The way forward then looks much like therapy, that, instead of embracing the separation, we should help people to integrate back INTO their bodies:
work through the bodily pain and trauma of their past so they can
be at peace with their bodies and
find joy in the quirks and idiosyncrasies and, ultimately,
feel “at home” with their bodies.
Let me summarize a couple of things:
As Christians, we are embodied people
We have the Imago Dei with depicts image bearers as representatives who are:
alike in humanity but
differentiated through maleness and femaleness
BUT the bible doesn’t give us much in terms of guidelines for how men and women are to act, or defining Masculinity and Femininity, or gender roles outside of culturally specific moments. This is all stuff you have to wrestle with!
Now, even if this is theologically TRUE, how does it engage with the fact that I, or someone I know, doesn’t experience life this way...how do we engage this in real life? Remember personal and public and it depends on your engagement:
Personal
Public
But ALSO, Political (Civic or Systemic)
For this section, I am going to lean on the writings of Dr. Mark Yarhouse who is a clinical psychologist specializing in the intersection of religious identity and sexual and gender identity. He points out that there are usually 3 Lenses we tend to use (clinical terms):
the integrity lens,
the disability lens, and
the diversity lens.
First, is the INTEGRITY lens
Focuses on creation stories and God’s original creational intent. The term “Integrity” refers to the idea that God’s intention was male/female (including the differences) and we are meant to restore the integrity of that design.
Second is the DISABILITY lens
This lens focuses on Genesis 3 and the Fall, which says gender differences are probably better explained as ability variations that occur in nature.
Scientifically, there is no conclusion as to why/how Gender disagreement occurs.
There are lots of theories but no conclusions.
As a christian, if you ask “why does something like Gender disagreement occur?” You will say “it’s a result of the Fall.”
Similar to Hearing loss - the hearing is not functioning as intended but IT’S NOT imbued with moral significance, sin, or disobedience.
It’s a variation that occurs in a fallen world and so how do we respond to this?
Third, the DIVERSITY lens
Variations in Gender should be celebrated and honored in our emerging culture as a positive part of human diversity.
This lens asserts that there is no single norm for gender identity, and transgendered persons should be affirmed and welcomed. This is the approach our culture has taken but it doesn’t reflect the biblical perspective on gender.
Increasingly culturally embraced and even taught in schools today.
There are positives and negatives in each one...
Integrity lens-
Positive: Places a high level of value on the biblical orientation as depicted in Genesis BUT
Negative: People tend to view it as black and white and become judgemental and very exclusionary.
They treat anyone who has a non-binary experience as a willful disobedience saying “sinners just need to stop sinning.”
They tend to take an offensive posture in the public realm which can marginalize people not like them.
Disability -
Positive: Also holds some important biblical truth and engages with a high level of Compassion and DOESN’T assume this experience is willful disobedience but rather an affliction to be embraced.
Takes a helpful public stance with those who don’t have a binary gender experience but can come across as pity.
Negative: Sometimes it doesn’t take seriously enough that people do make sinful decisions that may flow from a condition that’s not sinful itself.
Diversity -
Positive: The public posture is advocacy against marginalization. It attempts to address questions about identity and community that don’t get addressed in the first 2 lenses because they can be preoccupied with correction.
Where do I belong and how can I be myself?
Negative: It gives no credence to the created design or biblical truth.
MOVING FORWARD: What’s the next step? It depends on which lens you operate mostly from...
Integrity - In order to “restore God’s creational intent” you want to “heal” or change a person's Gender Identity. Not sure this happens often (though miracles are possible) it can be a jarring and traumatic experience.
Disability - Since this isn’t going away, we are going to try to foster christ-likeness to endure through the reality of this?
How can God be present in someone's condition/life
How can someone grow in Christ-likeness with something that may not be healed this side of eternity.
What about the Diversity lens?
Christians want to throw it out because it doesn’t include a biblical contribution.
Learn from this as a means self-correct our non-biblical
gender stereotypes (roles)
Exclusionary Family structures (OIKOS)
Yarhouse presents the options well but I think there is a sweet spot that we, as christians, need to engage in both grace and truth.
What if you deal with Gender Disagreement personally??
I am sorry for the way Christianity has treated you.
My prayer is that you don’t internalize it or seclude yourself away from Christian Community. When you’re ready, talk about it.
I pray that we, myself and Common Ground Northeast, are safe place to be open and vulnerable as you navigate it so you don’t have to do it alone.
While I have not experienced this, I have had experience with depression and I believe you allowing the weight of this to be on you alone, is an invitation for depression to move into your life and make a home there...which is not a healthy way to live. Don’t do it!
We want to walk with you,
shelter you from the negative forces that marginalizes you
My hope is that we are willing to confront our unhealthy definitions and re-organize our family structures to include all people who are seeking Jesus.
My prayer is that you find a kind of peace or shalom with this experience and find a sense of belonging in God’s Kingdom through our community at CGNE.
COMMUNION:
(1 COR. 11:23B-26)
“The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.”
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
PRAYER REQUESTS:
We are hosting prayer team meetings for both the congregation at large and individuals to sign up for individual prayer.
SUGGESTIONS FOR WORSHIP:
“Praise & Worship” Spotify playlist and “Praise & Worship” YouTube playlist (slightly different from each other), both of diverse music that are being constantly updated!
Bethel Music :
Bethel Music’s hours of live music YouTube Playlist, also being constantly updated
Bethel provides chords to most (if not all) of their songs here (just have to register email, but free!)
Live worship moments from the Upper Room YouTube Playlist
Journal writing! (I’m a writer too, so sometimes creative writing and writing my thoughts to God is my form of worship.)
Declare and worship with truth by singing and praying scriptures.
WORSHIP NIGHT! Dedicate a night to worship with friends and family, your house church or neighbors, those who need prayer, love worship, or just enjoy music through a video chat platform like Zoom. You can have one person leading at a time (switching off to whoever else wants to lead) while others sing along, pray, or prophesy, etc.
Serving your community, both online, in person, or both, is a great way to worship God, from spreading encouragement and God’s Word online to physically serving food to others. If you are able to go out and serve, click here for opportunities.
COMMISSIONING:
As Jesus said in John 20:21,
"Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you."
Go, be the Church!
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Amen.