NOVEMBER 7, 2021 SUNDAY MESSAGE
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November 7, 2021: Bible & Sex 3
Transcription
First, thanks to those of you who took it upon yourselves to DM and Message me Purity Culture memes and christian pick up lines this week...my favorite was the Kirk Cameron one...
First, I need to mention that we are on the 3rd teaching in a series called The Bible & Sex. There has been a full framing, intent, and disclaimer, etc for those who have been here in the past few weeks. Here’s the short version
If you are in the room, you are an adult or an adult has approved of you being here…
and you are in a place emotionally to have right now.
Second that our congregation keeps an overall tone of safety and empathy:
While I may challenge you, I am not trying to ostracize anyone…
you are welcome as you are in our church, you are welcome in this conversation, we love you even when we may disagree.
Finally, we are building on the foundation we set over the last couple weeks (I encourage everyone to go back and watch/listen to it).
Last week we ended by asking “okay what DOES the bible tell us about sex?”
We discovered four BIBLICAL Purposes for the creation of Sex and why God has given it to us.
The idea is that if we know WHY we were given this gift, we can use that to help us understand parameters for sex and help us weigh our values to inform it.
Those Four Purposes were:
Sex is an Illustration
It is for Procreation
It is for Love
and Pleasure
We pulled these all from Genesis before humanity rebelled and, today, I want to continue showing you how the story of sexuality in the bible depicts a beautiful design by the creator and upholds these four purposes pointing us towards a trajectory and helping us create a standard for human sexuality that we are meant to embrace, to flourish in, and to enjoy. <HERE WE GO...>
God has ALWAYS HELD A STANDARD FOR HIS PEOPLE, DISTINGUISHING THEM AMONGST THE NATIONS, AND INVITED US INTO A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP
We talked about this in our GOSPEL STORY SERIES:
O - All creation was created good
X - Humans rebelled but he love us so much that he wanted to fix the relationship that was broken
> - Promise OR covenant
You agree to this
I’ll agree to that
Have no other Gods and keep your covenant fidelity with me!
What GOD knew that we didn’t was that humans couldn’t possibly live up to the standard
† - Instead of giving up on us, He sent Jesus to show us how to live and die for our sins so that we could STILL be brought back into relationship with HIM
> - Then empowered us to become a MOVEMENT. A Kingdom FORCE that...
O - Reconciles and REnews and SHOUTS THE GOOD NEWS to everyone.
A good theology of Sexuality must find itself in this story and include an application of the same Gospel principles!
So that - like work, like money, and like power - things that are not inherently evil but, rather, good in the context they were intended...can become a distortion (as a result of the rebellion we read about in the Genesis 3) leading to misuse, confusion, abuse, addiction, and indulgence.
On this topic Hollinger writes: “likewise when we come to the gift of sex, we recognize that it has potential for so much goodness, but in its fallen state, so much abuse. It is in light of this reality that we must probe the ends or purposes of the gift of physical intimacy. Understanding these ends or purposes enables us to capture God’s intentions from creation. But such understanding is also essential to guard against the abuses and unethical practices that tempt us in a fallen, sex-crazed world.”
SO, the “purposes” give us:
A direction to build and
A means of protection from abuses
Both of which we can severely wrong.
THE HOPE in the midst of our fallen, not-yet-redeemed state is that Jesus has BOTH:
Held a standard for our relationship that gives proper value to His holiness and faithfulness but
MIXED it with a level of EXTRAVAGANT GRACE
THAT IT IS
HARD for us to even grasp and
CONTROVERSIAL in its application...SO controversial that that’s why I think we are even having this conversation today...
I want to give you an example from my life where these things were out of balance: after I was a christian, I was in a relationship and we weren’t sleeping together other things were happening and I knew it wasn’t okay.
There were commitments to stop and plans in place to not be alone but they would eventually get broken.
I wanted to stop but, in our own power, we were unable to do so and it took me down a dark path
I wasn’t suicidal but I started praying that God would just kill me because I felt guilty and I remember thinking “I don’t want to sin against you anymore King Jesus.”
I am committing to you now that this will STOP, in your sovereignty, if you know that I will break that promise, don’t let me wake up tomorrow morning.
I realized the relationship between sin and death was more than just a consequence...
How James says temptation turns to desire: “Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”
I had HEARD those things before but the relationship between sin and death was so manifested in this moment I could FEEL it and it was crouching at the door TRYING to devour me.
Catch what was happening:
I understood the standard and felt the weight of my sexual sin and it was so heavy, I didn’t know how to get out from underneath it!
BUT I didn’t understand and grasp the grace of God over my life to help lead me out of it...His kindness leads to repentance.
So:
if we don’t understand the weight of it all, how will we understand the fullness of God’s holiness and what God has relieved us from....?
But, on the flipside, when we know the power of the grace that Jesus offers us, it can overpower our temptations and lead into righteousness...
I say this because, as I describe the Purposes of God, there are standards that can be assumed that may highlight our failures and inabilities to keep them. Sexual sins hit so close to heart of humanity, that we are certainly going have to navigate this tension of grace and truth as we explore them.
With this in mind, I want to read to you from our Statement of Faith which, on its own, mostly focuses on the truth side...
Marriage: We recognize that all persons are made in the image of God and are to reflect that image in the community of believers, in home and in society. We believe in the family, celibate singleness, and faithful heterosexual marriage as the patterns God designed for us. (Gen. 1:26-28)
We pull this mostly out of Genesis, which is also where I introduced to you that there are four biblical PURPOSES of sex - once again, Illustration, Procreation, Love, Pleasure - that provide anchors for us as we see the rest of the story unfold but HOW do we see these four things play out in other parts of the bible?
1. Illustration: This is one of the most powerful parts of our discussion.
Definition: Scripture establishes that Marriage (including the the consummation of it through sex) is a living breathing example or illustration of the relationship between Christ and His church. So, sexuality is a part of the overarching metaphor used to describe the relationship God has with His people (specifically the church) that takes place in the context of a covenant relationship (or marriage) throughout scripture. The problem is we don’t know what a covenant relationship was like. We
Much of this is established in Genesis 1-2 but it plays out further. There’s a lot but I’ll give you a few plotting points:
MT. SINAI: As many of you know weddings are designed, planned, and orchestrated with significant meanings and symbols (they may differ from culture to culture but that’s true across the board). But the core of any wedding is the vows. They are the stipulations of the covenant.
Similar to a wedding, the Hebrew people coming out of Egypt were collected at Mt. Sinai and given 10 commandments.
Jeremiah even tells us this explicitly: Jer 2:1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem: "'I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown.”
The Commandments tell us, using marriage vow language, the parameters of our relationship with God and others:
There will be faithfulness in our relationship and sexual fidelity was of high priority. Likewise, worship and engagement with other “gods” or embracing their ways of life was considered adultery, and even harlotry and prostitution by the prophets throughout the Old Testament.
THE SHEMA in Deut. 6 is both a summary and a reaffirmation of these vows which is recited daily in the Jewish faith:
4-5 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Jesus himself quotes Shema later in the gospels.
JESUS pulls from Genesis in a response to the Pharisees about divorce reiterating the language of oneness and sexual union. It says:
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matt. 19:4–6; cf. Mark 10:5–9)
“PAUL calls husbands and wives to submit to each other, and lays out the meaning of self-sacrificial love as Christ loves, he quotes the Genesis paradigm: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Eph. 5:31).
Paul also uses the Genesis paradigm to argue against sexual immorality in his first epistle to the Corinthian church. Sex outside of a marriage covenant is rejected because the human body, which for a believer is now part of Christ’s body, is not intended to be united to another’s body without the covenant. He then asks, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh’(1 Cor. 6:16).”
Paul suggests that a kind of marriage actually takes place in this physical union with a prostitute, because sexual intercourse is the one-flesh act that consummates a marriage. ...Thus the physical joining, which in God’s design is to bring the two whole beings together as one, is a consummating kind of act without consummating intent. It is a joining of bodies, when God intends a joining of whole persons.
REVELATION brings this metaphor to its conclusion in its final chapters. Verse 19:6-8 says:
6 Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:
“Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. 8 Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.”
So the metaphor is clear, here are the implications:
Sex, at it’s most basic level is reserved for the context of of the Marriage Covenant which conveys:
Permanence
Faithfulness
And intimacy that is like “oneness.”
Every marriage is meant to put the metaphor of the celestial marriage between Christ and the Bride on display.
Anything else??
2. Procreation (aka Making Babies)
Quoting again from Hollinger: “Sexual intercourse is the means by which human life on earth continues and the means by which every human life begins...God’s design is that humans enter the world through the most intimate, loving relationship on earth—the one-flesh covenant relationship of marriage...As we examine God’s designs, however, we see that sex is inherently procreative.”
Of course, this is derived from Genesis as the first “stewardship responsibility” in chapter 1 verse 28. It says: “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number’ (Gen. 1:28).”
After the Rebellion takes place in Gen 3, we see that all of creation and human life (including procreation, Gen. 3:16) shift in a negative way however...
Adam and Eve conceive and give birth: Gen. 4:1-2 says: “Adam made love to his wife Eve [some translations say, ‘knew his wife’], and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, ‘With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.’ Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.”
Scripture continues to depict children as both a gift of God and evidence of covenant love:
Psalm 127:3-5 “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”
Catch in there the purpose of procreation is discipleship and filling the earth with lots of tiny little followers of Christ who embody the Kingdom for generations and generations.
Against the cultural norms of the day, Jesus upholds children in high regard and uses them as the example for faith (Matt. 18).
In John 16, Jesus says the joy of a child being born overwhelms the sorrow and pain experienced during labor and childbirth.
There are some Negotiations that take place in application of this verse:
Does every sexual encounter need to be for the purpose of procreation?
Some versions of christian sexual ethics would say yes.
I don’t think so, this is why: this purpose comes into negotiation with the other two purposes...which are pleasure and love.
How about Family Planning?
How much CAN we control?
Birth Control (men often opted out)?
How much SHOULD we control?
Capacity of family?
The idol of finances comes into play?
Who bears the burden and responsibility of raising children?
The loss of rthe “Oikos” is felt here.
Under-resourced folks
If the OT mandate is “Be fruitful and multiply…”
At what point do you feel you have fulfilled your response
Jewish interpretation
One male
One female
My job here is not to tell you how you should answer this but to point out that, for most of us in the west, family planning discussions don’t even consider this aspect.
Hollinger again: “We cannot develop the Christian meaning of sex by setting aside this dimension. Children are a fruit of sexual love. Though couples engaging in sex need not intend to have children through a given act, they must always be open to that possibility, for sex is by nature procreative. It is part of its essential meaning…Procreation is not the only purpose of sex, but it is an indispensable part. Every sexual act is procreative in that it carries “the potential” of offspring, and points beyond itself as a private, personal act to the generative dimension inherent in morally legitimate sexual intimacy. What many perceive to be “my business” is really “others’ business,” for that is the way God designed it.”
The THIRD purpose...
3. Love/Intimacy:
What constitutes “LOVE?” A million poems, movies, and plays have been written to define it!
Is it an emotion? Is it intense attraction? Is it a kind of bond? Can love be its own definition? Is it a social interaction? Is it the outward expression of a biophysiological mixture of hormones and chemicals in your body??
Since this is a series called The Bible & Sex, I’ll give some examples from the scripture then I’ll contrast it with other versions...
I mentioned a few weeks ago that there are multiple Hebrew words that get translated as “love” in our English bibles.
It wouldn’t hurt the English language to have some nuance when the same word for my affection to my spouse is applied to my craving for food so let's look at the common Hebrew words for love!
THREE Hebrew Words:
Raya - Deep friendship, darling, companionship.
Ahava - Focuses on the strength of the relationship, deep affection, commitment, and making a decision
Each party is both giver and receiver, and the connection only grows as this process continues day in and day out, year after year. In this way, ahava (love) is actually self-sustaining.
Dod - carouse, to rock, to fondle (I think you get the point!)
Song of solomon - Hollinger: “In the Bible, sex as an expression of love is most visible in the Song of Songs. This beautiful book of lyrical poetry has sometimes been an embarrassment to Jews and christians for it abounds with sensuality.”
A few things I want you to see:
the operational relationship between these 3 different ideas becomes a whole definition of love for us today
Each one informs the other AND it perfectly fits in the covenant illustration we talked about earlier.
But it says nothing about obtaining and securing your personal happiness.
Happiness SHOULD be a byproduct but biblical love is qualified by what it gives or sacrifices not what it receives.
These are the Classic Jewish definitions sustained from the OT and into the Jewish faith we read about in the NT but a shift occurred during antiquity!
Contrast this with the current western lenses we have that were defined by the Greco-Roman idea of romantic love. One commentator says this:
“love is nothing more than a random, overwhelming, uncontrollable sensual force. The image of love is cupid who shoots you with an arrow and you are overcome with passion that comes upon you! Those who believe the myth make some of the following statements:
“We don’t choose who we fall in love with”;
“This thing is bigger than both of us”; and
“The heart wants what it wants.”
The Greco-Roman version sounds great, romantic, and beautiful but it indulges an immature concept of love that God never intended!
This version is “emotion LED” or “emotion ONLY” and it LACKS the depth of the Hebrew/Biblical definition that leads to covenant illustration, right?
If I base my definition of love on the Greco-Roman version, then we are unstable and
If you buy into this, you are left to the whim of circumstances and emotional instability
“If we can fall into love, we can fall out of love” and there is no mechanism for riding out the storms or seasons of difficulty.
Furthermore, what if I’m out at a coffee shop and someone gives me googly eyes and all of a sudden cupids arrow hits, this kind of love justifies it...NOT SO WITH GOD!
Instead God’s love “is the one that lasts, it is stable, it is something that stays, it is something that will serve as a foundation on which a marriage can be built.”
One pastor tries to synergies the three with this definition “Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object”
What does this have to do with sex? Why does God embed it in the creation story and devote one book of th ebilbe to it??
It is in the context of Raya and Ahava that Dod has it’s fullness.
The “one flesh” union is meant to be a physical expression of the Love we just described as defined by God. It is one of the highest forms of intimacy, oneness, closeness, built into the human body.
If you base your definition of love on the Greco-Roman myth, one night stands and Tinder make a lot of sense (and its destroying our culture) but it is not so with God.
The intimacy involved is a rhythm of re-affirmation and a re-commitment of the love it represents.
In closeness
In biophysiological,
In soul/spirit
Finally the last purpose...
Pleasure
OT: Song of Solomon highlights this fact along with the other aspects of love in a way that is pretty explicit validating to the natural understanding that sex was created pleasurable.
While some ascetics have told married couples to abstain and others have taught the only reason was procreation and NOT pleasure, it’s hard to read Song of Solomon and exclude this from the equation.
NT: Paul even mentions that married couples should not “deprive each (from sex) other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time,so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you...”
When you combine this with the fact that the typical anatomy of men and women include glands that serve no other purpose than pleasure we conclude that it is one of the accompanying purposes of sex that is, again, meant to take place in the context of covenant love.
The Bible tells a story wherein God’s intention for sexuality was meant to include and hold an interactive engagement (tension) with all four of these purposes:
Illustration
Procreation
Love
Pleasure
In this way, the Gospel is written into the fabric of our sexuality!
If you are building a framework of what you believe about sexuality, you HAVE to have these four things built into it.
Any sexual framework that we build while omitting even one of these is incomplete and a departure God’s intention for healthy and whole sexuality.
These four things are the beams holding up the house and, if you take one out, it might be standing but it’s unstable and, if you pull two or more out...it’s likely to collapse in on itself.
Now, in every single one of these categories, you may have said, “but what about _____ and how about that one situation where someone ______ ” - Certainly there are alterations in the created intention of God (remember, we are post fall) and we should discern application and possibly accommodations for those situations.
But my whole point is that: God’s design is where we start and any framework for sexuality that you build which completely omits one of these four, is fundamentally problematic.
So we have to wrestle with the act that God does have some things He calls us to when it comes to sexuality. When we fall outside these parameters, when we attempt to define our sexuality outside of it, we are in opposition to God’s design and may even be in sin.
To deny that or run from it would be foolish!!
Instead of denying it, work toward accomplishing it knowing that God’s grace is sufficient when we fall.
The answer isn’t lowering the standard of God’s expectations:
it cheapens God’s holiness,
It redefines the illustration He has set forth
And does more damage than we probably can fathom
The answer is laying ourselves bare before the God of mercy who is rich in kindness and faithful to save us.
This is how Jesus handles it
John 8:1 says:
“but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
I have...IN CRU Emily and I were asked to speak on our testimony...
Grace and Truth
Emily/Erik Randy Grace
It wasn’t a relief - like I dodged a consequence, or somehow “got away with it.”
I could feel the weight of my sin and was ready to face the consequence and the unexpected FORCE of grace that Randy poured out was so MASSIVE that it was like a tidal wave swallowing up the shame, embarrassment, fear of consequence, thoughts of inadequacy, hope for a future with this woman that I loved that included a redeemed
I felt the power of redemptive grace and iit changed everything about the situation!!
As I said before, Jesus’ application of sin and grace is so synergistic that IT IS difficult to grasp and CONTROVERSIAL in its application...I don’t think we will ever get to bottom of:
“Should we sin that grace may about? NO! We are dead to sin and alive in Christ Jesus!”
Should I carry the shame and weight of my sins around with me? NO! There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus? Because through Him we are set free from the law of sin and death.
Do you see the common thread?? It’s Jesus and only Jesus
COMMUNION:
(1 COR. 11:23B-26)
“The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.”
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
PRAYER REQUESTS:
We are hosting prayer team meetings for both the congregation at large and individuals to sign up for individual prayer.
SUGGESTIONS FOR WORSHIP:
“Praise & Worship” Spotify playlist and “Praise & Worship” YouTube playlist (slightly different from each other), both of diverse music that are being constantly updated!
Bethel Music :
Bethel Music’s hours of live music YouTube Playlist, also being constantly updated
Bethel provides chords to most (if not all) of their songs here (just have to register email, but free!)
Live worship moments from the Upper Room YouTube Playlist
Journal writing! (I’m a writer too, so sometimes creative writing and writing my thoughts to God is my form of worship.)
Declare and worship with truth by singing and praying scriptures.
WORSHIP NIGHT! Dedicate a night to worship with friends and family, your house church or neighbors, those who need prayer, love worship, or just enjoy music through a video chat platform like Zoom. You can have one person leading at a time (switching off to whoever else wants to lead) while others sing along, pray, or prophesy, etc.
Serving your community, both online, in person, or both, is a great way to worship God, from spreading encouragement and God’s Word online to physically serving food to others. If you are able to go out and serve, click here for opportunities.
COMMISSIONING:
As Jesus said in John 20:21,
"Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you."
Go, be the Church!
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Amen.