OCTOBER 24, 2021 SUNDAY MESSAGE
JOIN US AT 10 AM TODAY!
Sex and the Bible: Sermon 1
Transcription (Please forgive errors and typos, as a result!):
As I look back at my history, there are a few key moments in my life that formed my understanding of sex and sexuality which I believe are poignant to our conversation and representative of our cultural outlook today to some degree… These four moments are… First, a HBO (documentary report) in 3rd Grade. It was essentially attempting to normalize three things as a part of “healthy human sexuality”: Casual Sexuality, Masterbation, and Pornography. This was one of the first interactions I had with a collection of sexual ideas intending to pursuade my thoughts. Second, a HS Coach giving us his “expert advice” about women: “Find a hole”, “This weekend stay focused!” and in the end, casual sexuality was normalized. The idea that we prioritize “yourself, your future, and your goals before her because she won’t be around forever” - the underlying premise is “she is here for your fun”..and I was discipled into misogyny. Third, my mom giving me one of “the talks.” These kinds of talks were pretty open (not off limits) in our family and this one went something like this: “since I’m getting older, it’s normal and healthy for you to experiment with sexuality, If you have any questions I’m here but two things I want you to know: “Use protection and when a girl says no she means no.” These were values of responsible sex and consent.
Then I went to church because my girlfriend asked me to go: “No sex before marriage.” It took me off guard actually and I had a bunch of questions for her - did she not know this? Does she agree with them and was she changing her mind about us? She clearly didn’t want the leaders in the room to know what was going on…More than anything else - THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD HEARD OF - OR EVEN CONSIDERED THE IDEA THAT - GOD HAD ANY OPINION WHATSOEVER ABOUT MY SEXUALITY!!
If you grew up in the church this may sound like Youth Ministry 101 but I didn’t grow up in the church (I committed for a year!) and I had an entire framework for sexuality and framework for ethics surrounding the topic. One that I believed had measured definitions of responsibility, one that had a sense of what was healthy/not healthy. It was developed completely outside of the church context AND I THOUGHT my framework was GOOD, responsible, mature, and my view of sexuality was RIGHTand now, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I realize, GOD has an OPINION. aBOUT SEXUALITY, ABOUT MY SEXUALITY IN PARTICULAR and He is telling me I have to make a correction!
And through the complexity of discerning ALL OF THESE VOICES, if I was going to consider following God, it was going to cost me something, I was going to have to surrender parts of me and these things did NOT exclude my views, my framework, my understanding of healthy, responsible sexuality.
But it wasn’t just correction Because, in God’s kindness he spoke, “you have some pain here that needs healing, and brokenness here that you picked up along the way and it needs redemption...so it wasn’t just “submit to me with this area of your life but, do you trust me with this area of your life?!” (Jump down to “in fact ”)
The first thing I want you to understand as we approach this topic is that we ALL come into this conversation with history, with baggage perhaps, lots of voices, LISTEN, SOMETHING IS FORMING YOU, SHAPING YOU, DISCIPLING YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEXUALITY AND USUALLY it happens without you being aware of it! and it ALL comes with a VERY high level of complexity as you navigate all of the voices (these are NOT simple issues)...but God has something to say, will you submit to Him?!
AND I’m asking for a posture of openness. Like me, maybe you’re holding onto your frame with a tight fist, saying, I know better or NOT THIS TOPIC, maybe you are looking for wisdom because you recognize some brokenness, need for healing, or the world has treaded on you in this area. I want you to hear it too “GOD HAS SOMETHING TO SAY with you trust Him?”
In fact before we move forward I want us to do a little reflection and I’m going to pray. What have been the major influences that have shaped your framework for sexuality, what have been the major influences that have shaped your ethical applications, what is your posture going into this topic?
Let’s Pray. Lord, we have all developed a framework of sexuality that comes from our cultural influences, those who have claimed expertise in our society (the church being one of those voices), and our different experiences (both positive and negative) that create good memories around sex and bad or even traumatic experiences. And with our selfishness...which gets prioritized more often in all aspects of our lives than we would like to admit.
As the book of Judges points out, we are all prone to “do what seems right in our own eyes.” We can’t escape these things and if you try to navigate them without the tenderness of you Father, the wisdom of YOU creator, without you, we will do can do more damage than you realize!! Help us submit to you and trust you with this area of our lives. Guide us Lord. AMEN!
Some Things I hope to convey during this series. Lets listen with sensitivity, vulnerability, courage, compassion. Sexual baggage is often some of the most difficult to deal with, to revisit, it can stir up emotions and memories that strike at the core of our development!
So I want you to know a couple things ABOUT ME. My personality tends to err on the side of direct/frank communication, I need you to know that I am not attempting to be rude in my directness (temper it but it doesn’t always convey my heart), and I don’t embarrass easy on this subject matter (and I don’t believe God does either) so I plan to be vulnerable in storytelling (when appropriate). SEX, Penis, Vagina (whoa - you can’t say that at church). That brings me to the SECOND THING, moving forward, I am going to make some assumptions about YOU (audience).
First assumption: You are an adult or an adult in this room has approved of you being here...so you are okay with the nature of the conversation and emotionally capable of having it. It is not my intention to get you to revisit unresolved trauma (You may need to step out if something traumatic is triggered in you and that’s okay). These issues are COMPLEX (we want to dig into this subject because “easy answers are often incomplete answers”) and I hope to match that complexity with good research, mindful cultural engagement, and scripture. That is not to say it is without emotion…
Second assumption: I want this sanctuary and you, as an audience, to embrace an overall tone of safety, compassion, and empathy, maybe a little humor to break it all up). Some topics, that may seem foreign to you, are a “lived reality” to another. While I may challenge you, I a am not trying to ostrisize anyone...you are welcome as you are in our church, you are welcome in this conversation, we love you even when we disagree. So... Sensitivity, vulnerability, courage, compassion
One last thing - since this teaching is in a sermon format, you might have questions that pop-up and we want to make a way for you to ask them: email office@cgnortheast.com put in the subject the Bible & Sex
ALRIGHT! This is where we start our 6 week journey together and they do build on each other so, if you jump into week 4 without weeks 1-3, you may not understand it fully something so I encourage you to engage every week in the order they are taught for the full effect. Open your bibles to Genesis Chapter 38… Verse 6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.10 What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also. 11 Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s household. 12 After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua,died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him. 13 When Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14 she took off her widow’s clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had not been given to him as his wife. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 Not realizingthat she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.” “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked. 17 “I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he said. “Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?” she asked. 18 He said, “What pledge should I give you?” “Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. 19 After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow’s clothes again. 20 Meanwhile Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back from the woman, but he did not find her. 21 He asked the men who lived there, “Where is the shrine prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?” “There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here,” they said. 22 So he went back to Judah and said, “I didn’t find her. Besides, the men who lived there said, ‘There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here.’” 23 Then Judah said, “Let her keep what she has, or we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send her this young goat, but you didn’t find her.” 24 About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant.” Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death!” 25 As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,” she said. And she added, “See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.” 26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again. 27 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb.
If you’re not thinking “what is GOING - ON - HERE?” you are in the right headspace for this story! This story is the EPITOME of ethical tensions and complications! It’s not just the whole ‘kinsman redeemer’ thing - How do you justify impregnating servants? Prostitution, INCEST and POLYGAMY in the bible! We won’t be able to go too far into this text today but what it does IS….it opens us up to the MYRIAD of conversations - like this and MORE - surrounding the topic of the Bible & Sex. We can come at this with off-the-cuff OPINIONS but in Genesis 38 a series of sexual ethics are being employed. So, If ETHICS are a study of the values behind decision making, what values are being prioritized in the decision making here? What values were being diminished? WHY did Judah and Tamar do what they did? What’s happening here?! Let’s break it down a bit - let me hear your responses! Selfishness, Patriarchy, Double standard, Prostitution, and Incorporating Kinsman Redeemer (and not doing it!)
From this story, we can see there are lots of values to consider and there are MORE so I want us to back up out of this story and consider 2 categories of thought and I’ll give you questions to process. The REASON and MORALITY.
The First Category: The REASON for sex. “WHY does ANYONE have sex? What are the reasons or motivations for it (this list is not meant to convey morality but values)?” POSSIBILITIES include Procreation “Be fruitful and multiply,” Maintaining family stability/security, Continuing Lineage of Wealth/Inheritance, Workers on the farm and protection.
Pleasure/Satisfy Desire, Love. Aka: Relational Intimacy, expression of love, Hebrew Dod, Loving “duty” to partner, Sex during times of conquest were used to intentionally dilute family lines. Covenant Making: Modern love marriage, Consummating a marriage, arranged marriages (established commitment for safety within a marriage) could also establish power, and Political-national.
Commodity, Exchanged for something, Covenant making, Prostitution, survival, goods, etc, Power/control, Sexual Addiction, Forced into it, Used as a form of cultic worship and Imaging or Representing the relationship between Christ/Church. Consummating a marriage is a part of this.
This may not be 100% comprehensive BUT it's adequate for our purposes and it helps us to flesh out the complication we named earlier. This is the question I want you to begin to explore… Which of these are biblical? Which originates from God?Which values come from somewhere else?
Second category, The MORALITY of sex. What are the values we consider involving sex? How do we determine the boundaries of right/wrong for sex. POSSIBILITIES include: Culture/Tradition (but dig deeper what are the possible values behind the tradition, Consent, Age of consent?and Consent in a patriarchal society. Communal Obligation, Monogomy vs polygamy? Usually depicted by the community culture. Love is love. Do I WANT to procreate right now (stage of life, financial situation)? Do I have an option? Do I have access to contraception? Do I have access to good contraception (are there medical bi-prodructs)? Is there Free Choice? Is this possible in my culture or does it favor one group (patriarchal culture)? Positional Equality? Authority for boundaries? “Who” has authority to create the boundaries? Higher power, State, Family, Mutuality, Love… Should it be used as a commodity? What if it’s for survival? What sexual expressions am I allowed to engage in (pornography, masturbation, )? Character Not “what am I allowed to do” but “How are our sexual appetites shaping us?” AGAIN, this is what I want you to begin to explore… Which of these are biblical? Which originates from God?Which values come from somewhere else? When we think about the common questions I mentioned earlier: how do you JUSTIFY polygamy, ‘kinsman redeemer,’ impregnating servants, and incest? I DON’T justify them...and often, I don’t think the bible is attempting to JUSTIFY them though, in some cases, you see an ark of correction take place!
What it clearly does is...it depicts the people, along with their imperfections, trying to make sense of their circumstances and sometimes they fall short, sometimes they sin, and sometimes they are guilty of wickedness...JUST LIKE YOU AND I!
Narrative texts, especially in the Jewish contexts, are meant to force us to think deeply, to decipher the meaning, to search out the moral, and sometimes it just states “how things are” not “how things should be.”
So, we have to do extra work on our end to imagine the circumstances and ethical values at play when we read the biblical accounts and see the values that are no longer operable today. And, often, we do a dis-service by taking the priorities and values from OUR time, based on OUR limited viewpoint and center THEM in our reading of scripture.
When it doesn’t work, we try to reconcile our disagreements by BENDING the wisdom GOD to match ours INSTEAD of taking OUR perspectives and surrendering them to living, loving, God and the architect of all heaven and earth. We see it over and over!
What’s more, we read about the failed sexual frameworks of Judah/Tamar, Abraham, Rahab, the Kings and all their misconducts and we take OUR FAILED 21st century sexual frameworks and say “you did it wrong” and it surfaces the fact that we are ALL so captive to our cultural context its embarrassing!! When I say it’s embarrassing...I mean humbling.
In the end, ALL of the frameworks we hold about our sexuality are trojan horses smuggling in sexual idols, hiding our failures, and harboring brokenness that enslaves us to the idea that we are ENTITLED to “do what is right in our own eyes.” ...AND IF there is going to be ANY integrity in this conversation, we have to start by recognizing that we are ALL sinners desperately in need of a savior!
This is why the Apostle Paul asks the Corinthians in THEIR moment of sexual failure...19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. If you are a follower of Jesus today, you have to know that “you are not your own; you were bought at a price.”
The beginning of this journey calls for humble repentance that you and I - like all believers - submit our opinions, frameworks, and sexual ethics to the Lordship of King Jesus and lay it all at the foot of the cross! But that’s just the beginning...it’s NOT the end...because, with Jesus, death is always, always, ALWAYS the spring- board for resurrection because the invitation to let THIS go is also the invitation to let go of your baggage. TO LET GO Of Any pain you have incurred, Any sexual shame, Any sexual guilt, Any ideas that you are being punished for your sexual history and ALL of your sexual brokenness... It ALL gets to be nailed to cross, BURIED along with the frameworks you’ve built - to be raised to new life and Redeemed by Jesus’ transforming power!
You see the GOOD news is the fact that “You are not your own; you were bought at a price.” because that price was paid for you to be made into a new creation! But that statement is only as good to you as your willingness to let go and embrace the new. If you are holding tight to your own understanding, this is terrible news if you are in a place to let go and be moldable in the hands of a loving Father into something new, there is only good here.
SOMETHING IS FORMING YOU, SHAPING YOU, DISCIPLING YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEXUALITY. Your sexual formation is either being informed by the discipline of your intention or it is being shaped by something else and you are unaware of it...SO what is it that you are trusting your formation with? And, if you are a christian, you must let God lead this conversation.
TWO things I am going to ask of you over the next week. Continue to evaluate the values that have created your framework of sexual ethics. It’s best if you write them out. Then identify: what experiences shaped them, what teachings informed them, Where has the culture of the world spoken into your thoughts, ideas intentionally or unintentionally once you’ve exhausted your ideas, stop and pray that Jesus would affirm what is good and correct what is wrong.
As we move forward, I DO think there are some values that we need to embrace which the bible gives us Not a new framework but FOUNDATIONS for you build on but, before we get there, be honest and ask yourself, “do I really want to let scripture be the formative authority of my sexuality or am I more interested in letting my view of sexuality shape the formation of scripture?
Next week we are going to zero-in on a couple of our current sexual ethics and examine them.
COMMUNION:
(1 COR. 11:23B-26)
“The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.”
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
PRAYER REQUESTS:
We are hosting prayer team meetings for both the congregation at large and individuals to sign up for individual prayer.
SUGGESTIONS FOR WORSHIP:
“Praise & Worship” Spotify playlist and “Praise & Worship” YouTube playlist (slightly different from each other), both of diverse music that are being constantly updated!
Bethel Music :
Bethel Music’s hours of live music YouTube Playlist, also being constantly updated
Bethel provides chords to most (if not all) of their songs here (just have to register email, but free!)
Live worship moments from the Upper Room YouTube Playlist
Journal writing! (I’m a writer too, so sometimes creative writing and writing my thoughts to God is my form of worship.)
Declare and worship with truth by singing and praying scriptures.
WORSHIP NIGHT! Dedicate a night to worship with friends and family, your house church or neighbors, those who need prayer, love worship, or just enjoy music through a video chat platform like Zoom. You can have one person leading at a time (switching off to whoever else wants to lead) while others sing along, pray, or prophesy, etc.
Serving your community, both online, in person, or both, is a great way to worship God, from spreading encouragement and God’s Word online to physically serving food to others. If you are able to go out and serve, click here for opportunities.
COMMISSIONING:
As Jesus said in John 20:21,
"Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you."
Go, be the Church!
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Amen.